Service to Self
My Intention is to always share from my heart, lifting all of us to our highest selves. Embracing the fullness of who we are with Love, Compassion and Freedom to Express without worry or fear. To celebrate every single side of ourselves and to shine so brightly that we blind all that is not ours.
Thank you for being on this adventure with me
We are each on one of two paths, Service to Self or Service to Others. Not to be confusing but both are service to Self in actuality. Service to self can be looked at as only caring about our own best interests, believing others should do what we believe is best for them, believing we know more, are smarter than they are, everything would be better of they just did what we wanted them to do. There is also… plain old, we want to feel ok, if others acted and behaved according to our expectations and standards our lives would be great. It’s them, not me. In reality it all based on lack, fear and uncertainty, hidden in worry, concern for others well being and many other lies we tell ourselves. While service to others is based in unconditional Love, compassion and understanding. Let’s break these down a bit.
Service to Others
Unconditional Love; the absolute and complete Love of life, of all living beings. No exceptions, can’t be ‘oh but rats are gross’, or ‘people that act this way are just unacceptable there’s no way I’m ever going to be ok with that way of thinking’. Ok fine then you are falling under service to self, just be honest, it’s ok, remember all is really service to self. You’ll get there one day, we all do, it’s the Divine Design of all that is. In Unconditional Love it is an extension of the Creator, of God, how can you not Love that in which you are?. And rats? Yup, I get it gross, they do have a purpose though and it’s not their fault we built big cities with tons of opportunities for rats to thrive, we created the perfect environment for them to thrive. So who’s really gross? Just saying… Everything is what we created. We create EVERYTHING!
Compassion; allowing and accepting the whole of who everyone is. This earth life is exceptionally challenging and very difficult to navigate. We learn compassion when we take the time to know ourselves first before we try and know others. This can be challenging and difficult, being comapassionte with ourselves allows us to have compassion for others on their own personal journey.
Understanding; Going within and knowing ourselves brings clarity to why others do what they do, because we figure out why we do what we do. We under - stand deeply because we took the time to look at ourselves.
Service to Self
Manipulation: Any thinking or acting on our own interests, without truly considering what others want or where they are at on their own path. Now this is a challenge, put ego to the side, along with thoughts of everything would be better if they did XYZ. ‘They don’t know any better they need my help’, ‘They’re lost with out me’, ‘they won’t do it themselves, they need me to do it for them’ ‘I’m just helping them see a better way’. If you don’t get the picture by these examples look at anything where others or self thinks people are dumb, or incapable, everyone, homelsss, less fortunate, disabled, the sick and dying. This is all service to self and it’s confusing as hell because we were taught that others are not capable, only some are the lucky ones, most are lost souls, and helpless and need assistance. Except there are no lost souls, only souls on an adventure that we will never fully understand until we see our own adventure. We will drive ourselves mad trying to figure out why the world is the way it is and why people are so lost, going within is the only way we will see the reasons why. Manipulation is lying to get our way, lying to ourselves to get our way. We LIE to ourselves, I invite you to do your best to keep from letting defenses go up and thinking “no I don’t do that’. We are here to meet ourselves and see ourselves as the Creator, facing all our shadow is how achieve this. It is freeing when we are able to see ourselves and it takes a ton of courage to admit all that we do. It is ‘cringy’, is that still a cold word?? LOL. This is a hard one, we are so close to our behaviors and our patterns. This doesn’t make us bad, we are unraveling deep conditioning. My personal best way of manipulation was with influence, this was my go to, I was just influencing others to do what was best… Oh yeah, I thought I was clever, I didn’t know I was manipulating.
Control: trying to restrict someones behavior, having power over another that isn’t as strong willed as you. Holding something back from someone if they don’t do what you want them to do, withholding, sex, love, food, money, freedom.
Force: threatening to do something if you don’t get your way. Using energy to pull something to you, manifesting in a way that doesn’t hold oneself and others in the highest good, Yes it is a thing and yes it is being used by many at this time. Some knowingly and some unknowingly. Why I am writing this, to put myself in check. It starts off innocent, and harmless.
Have compassion and understanding for service to self. Respect and honor all that is, the negative and the positive, masculine and feminine, light and dark, good and evil, is all part of both of these paths. All part of Creation.
If you want to do a deep dive into service to self and service to others go HERE
This is my interpertation and my understanding of the two Paths, I am not claiming to be an expert and as always use your intuition and feel into what resonates and what doesn’t.
Here is my recent experience to give reference.
Being vulnerable seems to be a good place for me in this moment, I can’t lie to myself so well if I am sharing in this format. And oh boy is it ever freeing. Relationships have been fascinating to me throughout my whole life. I spent most of my dating days unknowingly addicted to the honeymoon phase. After the end of a 9 year, mostly solid relationship, I was not available for another. We always point the finger and blame men for not being available, however, in any combination of partners, if one isn’t available, than neither are available or there would be no one tangled up I these types of relationships.
I used to lower myself, to meet a man where he was at, I would manipulate, try and control or force the relationship to work after I had entered into it knowing that it wasn’t what I wanted. Afraid to be alone, yes. Wanting to fix myself through fixing someone else, yes. Wanting to be happy so changing myself to be what I thought the other wanted, yes. Stopped doing certain activities, dressing down, not spending money the way I wanted, not speaking up for myself, not setting boundaries, yes to all of that. All the while lying to myself, that this was the way to happiness, this was compromise. I used my sexuality to get my way, my intellect to maneuver situations. I sucked at this, it never worked, probably because I would do all of this and still have a way to make whatever man was in my life, feel like I was lowering myself for him. Energy speaks louder than words. Yikes someone stop me from writing. These men may I add where amazing, I had fun and I enjoyed myself, I really did, until I didn’t. I was just in a pattern and didn’t see what I was doing, until now. All these relationships were the story of my life and the story of what I was creating, all to learn the lesson of Self. Just the past two weeks this behavior made an appearance, with a man that (my latest partner in crime) is playing a role that I have assigned to him, and yes I am also playing a role in his life, it always works this way, we are just unaware and tied up in an illusion in order to fully be able to have the experience. This time however I have been observing myself, what an incredible opportunity to be able to see this unfold for myself and to share. I’m sharing so intimately because my story is unique to me, however we often have behaviors and patterns that we don’t see and we often lower ourselves and dime or light for others. Funny thing is nobody asks us to and if they do well then that’s our choice to stay.
Lowering ourselves and dimming our light is actually service to self. I Know!!! I’m shocked I just had an Ah-HA today. The Grand Universe lined up everything beautifully for me. Put before me was a man that I wasn’t considering, if you read my last email/blog, it is my contractor that drinks and smokes. It was a no brainer, there was something there but I was like no, he’s not in a place to explore what I want to explore. No biggie, I let it go. Until he kept being put in front of me, in different scenarios and I was able to observe the man, not the habits he picked up to cope with life’s stressors (his words). He’s incredible, I like being around him and he shows me a way of looking at the world that is beautiful and expansive, rare for me to experience being intrigued this way. He recently told me how much he liked me and how attracted he is to me annnnndddd that he is not where he wants to be, to pursue me. This was when he was over on my birthday and had liquid courage. I was like cool got it, I’m not in a place to have anything less. Then a few days pass and I start to make up stories in my head, I started trying to figure a way around this. Ugh the old pattern showed up, I was about to disregard what I wanted, disregard what he wanted and go straight into manipulation. I was starting to use energy to pull him to me. Thank goodness, my higher self was on the job, I’ve worked on being protected and being guided in instances like these lol. I like him a lot and… I like myself way too much so I am surrendering to not knowing, releasing both of us from any energy that is of a lower nature. I have had to really look at myself and forgive myself for all that I had put others and myself through in the past. It was never tragic, it was a roller coaster and exciting, it was toxic and toxic was fun for me during those years. Not anymore though, I want something much, much deeper. I want to experience all of someone who wants t o experience all of me. This all is an example of life happens for us!! I was ready to face a shadow side that was still , well a shadow. Am I out of the clear yet?? We shall see, I’ll be doing my best, I know that.
I have struggled with this, still am in some ways, yet I know above all else I have to let this go. To do anything else is to go against the freewill of another human, it would be less than what I truly want and it would be problematic and way to much work, because it wasn’t created from Love. We do this so automatically as humans, try and keep others in our life, try to keep them safe, try to keep them protected, try to keep them with us, it is possibly the most hidden form of Service to Self, because we believe it’s love. To truly Love is to allow another to be free.
The divine feminine receives and the divine masculine gives. Feminine is inward, masculine is outward. Surrender to the natural law of the Universe.
What is meant for us will be ours, there is no other way, this is not a beautiful saying or logically knowing, it is a way of living, a way of experiencing our highest good of self and the highest good of all.
Blessings to you All and thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share with you,
Shannon
